I have spent the last two months of my life doing something I don't think I have ever done before. I ALLOWED myself the freedom to just be. To discover what truly makes me happy, live in the moment and not worry about what happened in my past or what my future holds. To be lazy and not feel guilty about it.
It's been a very busy two months, in the midst of my "retirement", and I have enjoyed the moments both good and bad. I had to witness my love mourn the loss of his father, spent a lot of time with my immediate family learning new things about them, deepened my meditation practice and asked myself a lot of hard questions. Why do you think so much? What do you want to do moving forward? What makes you happy? What do you feel guilty about? Who do you need to forgive? Why do you feel responsible for other people's happiness? What makes you happy? Do you have any regrets? How can you take better care of yourself? Why is taking care of yourself first considered selfish? Have you made a difference in anyone's life? Are you proud of your accomplishments? What makes you happy? If you died today would you be satisfied with your life? What is satisfaction to you? Are you connected? How do you show love? Do you use your words to uplift or point out flaws? How can you be a better person? What makes you happy?
What makes you happy is the question I asked myself the most. Before I made any decisions, I paused and asked myself, "Will this make you happy?" If the answer was no, I said no, even if I knew it would disappoint or cause displeasure to someone else. This was VERY hard and sometimes I still gave in. It's a work in progress. If the answer was yes, I did it. I have been conditioned to do things for others because it's beneficial or helpful to them and I have been taught that "everything isn't about you", however, that has not served me well in my life. It has developed in me the need to be an overachiever, a people pleaser and left me with a lot of guilt. I don't want to live like that anymore. I want to live in satisfaction. I want to do things that make me happy because when I am truly happy, I am able to share my happy with others and give to them from a place of happiness, not a place of obligation.
Here is a list of 10 things that make me happy in no particular order:
What makes you happy? Share your thoughts with me. If you enjoy reading the blog, sign up for my email list. Thank you for taking time out of your day to spend this time with me. I am filled with gratitude.
Depression survivor that discovered the power of positive thinking.